The research of different colleges has felt like an ongoing process throughout high school. Narrowing down and focusing the schools I ultimately want to go forward in pursuing applications for has challenged me, though. I often feel so tempted to just pick the same schools I’ve been hearing the most about; but I’ve been fighting that urge. Doing that would do one thing, I am certain: make the decision-making process fly by. As tempting as that is, though, I’m holding back that urge and it shows in the slow progress of my decision-making.
I think especially because my parents didn’t go to college, I’m more hesitant to just decide and go for it. It’s like only part of it is me moving forward with my search. The other part for me feels as though this search is for my family too. I shouldn’t be afraid to make a mistake, but knowing how my parents have supported me throughout makes me consider everything with so much more concern.
The other day in the car my mom asked me where I saw myself in a year’s time. Where, what school could I really see myself at? I had no honest answer to give. I still don’t. It feels like I’ll never know.
All I want is to be able to have a license plate that denotes me as an alumna of the college I love. It’s tough. I don’t even know which one college I love, yet. (And I can’t help but think I’m so far off from knowing that kind of love, too.) I’m afraid of making a mistake. I want so much to make the “right” decisions but I suppose there isn’t any perfect school, just perfect schools for me. (No, I did not make a mistake in saying “schools” instead of “school.”) Reminding myself of that, I hope to get to know what school name will eventually show up on the license plate I won’t deny I have dreamed of.
I’ve narrowed down my list to four public, in-state schools, but I’m still struggling with deciding on a few more private schools. I’m considering some out-of-states–which is making this search all the more challenging. I also recently applied for a national college match program for low-income students. For that process, I have a little less than two weeks to decide on eight schools I could potentially be matched with. Essentially I’m going Early Decision, only I’m committing to the possibility of eight different schools. What scares me more is the fact that I am doing this, all without ever having visited any of the schools. My classmates might have been able to go on an east coast college tour during spring break with mom and dad, but that just wasn’t and likely won’t ever be an option before I commit. That’s part of the sacrifice I suppose. It’s all for my beloved license plate though.
By Driving Into The Future