By Chris Helvajian

Up until now I’ve shared some true horror stories. The set I’m sharing with you this week falls on the lighter side of the spectrum. Enjoy!

Little Gift
It was a bright fall day and I was about 15 minutes into my tour when I stopped under a tree to address my tour group. The tree was losing leaves and it was kind of neat to see them slowly falling to the ground every few seconds.

I felt what I thought was a leaf hit my shoulder and brushed it off only to realize it was squishy.

Turns out that a bird had dropped a rather large turd on my shoulder and there was nothing I could do except try and wipe it away with my hand, which really just served to spread it around on my shoulder.

Lesson: Never trust a tree.

A Message From The President
It’s quite common for the President of our university to stroll around campus and approach tour groups that cross his path. He’s just a social guy!

One day he approached my tour and made conversation with the tour group. Parents were impressed that the President of the university would stop to say hello and they were eating it up. When he asked if the tour group had any questions, one of the moms on the tour said “No, but I just want to say that our tour guide is doing an excellent job.”

The President looked over at me and said, “Great, then I think it’s time to give her a raise!”

I was really excited… and then I never got a raise.

Lesson: Never trust the president.

Summer tours in Arizona can be a real pain. It’s routinely over 100 degrees outside and you pretty much always need to have a bottle of water with you.

I was naïve, and had only recently started giving tours and thought I could handle it. In the middle of my tour it topped out at 110 degrees and I fainted. And no one did anything!

I fell on the concrete, ended up with a pretty nasty bruise and some really minor burns and heat stroke.

I was on office duty for the rest of the summer after that.

Lesson: Never trust the heat.

Do you have any tour guide horror stories of your own to share?  Comment below with your story!